Waking Up


“You don’t know you’ve been asleep until you are awake.” These were words spoken to us by Pastor Allen of Daystar Church on January 1st. We were beginning a series called “Awaken” where our pastor was sounding a spiritual alarm to encourage us to wake up if we had been sleeping.

I had been asleep.

You probably wouldn’t have noticed. Perhaps the absence of blog posts the last few months would be a clue, but there is more to it than that, and I’d like to fill you in. Okay, well, maybe I don’t actually want to post these things over the internet for the world to read, but I’m going to do so for two main purposes.

My own personal growth and healing.

Do you know where the enemy is most successful? In the darkness. He loves to separate us from all that is good and lead us away from the Light because it is in the dark that we are most likely to believe his lies. Often, when we hide our struggles and try to brush them under a rug, we have a hard time of escaping them. I’ve made a lot of progress over this past year in several areas, so the last thing I want is for that progress to be lost or to be caught in a downward spiral again. By bringing my issues into the light, it gives me an opportunity to process what I’ve learned and it allows others to call me out if they sense anything going awry. It also gives me a chance to acknowledge my weaknesses to the Lord and allow Him to work in my life.

“Because of God’s tender mercy, the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, and to guide us to the path of peace.” Luke 1:78-79

Encouragement for others.

I can’t say this enough. I’m a pastor’s wife and I am not perfect. Not even close. I struggle just like everyone else, and I think there is something very human about that struggle. We are in the fight together and we need each other. It is my hope that in sharing these details, someone else who has been in the muck will find these words and be encouraged. The details might be different, but the theme is the same. We are in a battle, but friends, we are not alone. Let’s light each other on fire as we see all that God can do. All hope is not lost. Do not despair. He is here and He is working and He is GOOD.

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

What can you expect from me?

It’s too much for one post, so I’m going to break it up a bit. I’m going to share with you about my emotional, physical, and spiritual struggles. Everything all ties in together, so it may sound a little redundant. I plan to be vulnerable with you, sharing things that I have only on occasion shared with others, and even then only if it so happened to come up in conversation. As I share these struggles, I will also share how God is working in them and through them. He is teaching me much about Himself and who I am in this process. It’s a messy work, but it is worth it.

I had been sleeping, but now? I’m waking up.

“I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with his godly people. How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them. Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty. His righteousness never fails.” Psalm 111:2-3

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