I’ve been putting it off for a while, but now we have officially taken the plunge. The plunge into potty training that is.
Potty training has got to be my least favorite milestone. I’m sure I’ll change my tune when it’s time for my children to start driving, but as of this moment, potty training is the winner. Surely it has something to do with the negatives way out performing the positives:
Potty Training Negatives:
-Watching the clock
-Cleaning up accidents
-Realizing your baby is growing up
-Bringing a potty with you wherever you go
-Packing multiple changes of clothes
-Having to take your child to a public restroom when she insists she has to go NOW
-Pee and poop galore
-Washing a zillion loads of extra laundry
-Convincing your child that diapers/pull-ups still have to be worn while sleeping
-Convincing your child that diapers/pull-ups are only to be worn while sleeping
Potty Training Positives:
-Saving money on diapers
-Not having to change diapers
I mean, who really wants to have so much say in another person’s toileting habits?
So, for anyone who might be approaching this stage of parenthood, here is my not-so-serious potty training advice.
Just get over it. You have to be at the point where you legitimately do not care if your child pees on your couch or poops on your rug. Because it will happen. Stock up on fabric cleaner and you are good to go.
Okay, so I’ve heard tale of people who have potty trained their kiddos with zero accidents. That is amazing and these are probably the people from whom you should be seeking potty training advice. Not me. Remember that post on seeking advice? You shouldn’t even be reading this!
Leave it up to Them
I was better at this with my first than with my second. I thought she was ready, but when she peed on me at 7ish months pregnant, I gave it up until I knew for sure she was ready. How did I know? It was very scientific.
“Dearest daughter, would you like to wear diapers or panties today? Diapers? Okay, awesome.”
Two months later: “Dearest daughter, would you like to wear diapers or panties today? Panties? Okay, you have to go pee-pee in the potty first. No? Diapers it is.”
Two more months later: “Dearest daughter, would you like to wear diapers or panties today? Panties? And you are okay going pee-pee in the potty?” ::deep breath:: “Father in Heaven, help me through this.”
I’m speaking to myself. Last time, I insisted that my daughter wear her undergarments anytime we went out. If she was going to be potty trained, it was going to be wherever we went.
That’s not a bad idea, but if you know you are going to be taking a five hour trip to the beach, please put a pull-up on your child who has only been potty trained for a month. Please. Just do it. If you take this tiny piece of advice, your trip may not turn into 7 hours with two carseat accidents and five potty stops. And who wants to wash a carseat cover the moment they arrive at the beach? Please. Use the pull-up. I’m speaking from experience here.
And if your child happens to get poop all squished in some undies…save yourself the trouble and just throw the things away. Again. I have experience. Gross. You can afford a new pair.
Alright, so you guys caught me. I don’t actually have any real, good, legitimate, tried-and-true, proven-to-be-affective advice. Basically, I make this stuff up as I go.
But here is the truth: you’ve got this. You can handle it and you will survive it. You are a mommy, and mommies have pretty good instincts about when their kiddos are ready to handle things like potty training. Go with your gut, use bribery, buy a bajillion potties, and just go with the flow.
And most importantly, laugh at the craziness of it all.