In the time I have spent discussing and reading about the topic of infertility, I’ve discovered quite a few things that I had never before considered. Today’s post is intended to share with you just a glimpse of my findings and what the journey might look like.
It Can be Lonely
Infertility isn’t exactly a standard topic of conversation. There is a stigma that seems to be attached to this issue that makes it hard to talk about. Women struggling with infertility often feel ashamed or embarrassed, making it difficult to reach out to others. Sometimes, even after reaching out, the loneliness remains. Friends may be switching life stages as they begin families of their own, making the absence of a baby even more evident. There are times when people simply don’t know what to say, and end up avoiding a conversation altogether. No one wants to feel excluded or left out, so if you have a loved one in this situation, it may be better to risk saying the wrong thing, than to say nothing at all.
It Can be Expensive
Insurance companies vary immensely, but one thing I was shocked to discover is the lack of coverage regarding infertility. Some companies cover only certain procedures or medications. Certain businesses may not have infertility included on their policies because it keeps the rates lower. When coverage is provided, there is always a limit. This can come in the form of a percentage or a cap on funds. What does this mean? It’s a lot of money out of pocket for very expensive treatments. One round of IVF can cost anywhere from $15,000 – $20,000, so unless there is stellar insurance coverage, this can be a huge hit to families that makes seeking further treatments seem impossible.
Everyone Responds Differently
Some people may jump at the chance to talk about all the details, while others want to keep it all to themselves. Some women may attend every baby shower and want to be included in all the baby talk. Others would appreciate being invited, but may not attend an event for the wave of emotions it could bring. For everyone, there are good days, hard days, hopeful days, and dark days. Not sure how to support a friend or family member? Ask. Find out if they have books or resources they would recommend you read, if they need a support person on days they make an office visit, or if they would like to get together and talk about anything but infertility.
Medical Advancements Often Bring More Questions
Let’s say a specific issue causing infertility has been discovered. Now what? Should treatments be sought? What type of treatment should be pursued? How many times should the treatment be attempted? Is adoption an option? When choosing IVF, how many eggs should be fertilized? How many fertilized eggs should be implanted? What happens to the ones remaining? All of these questions take on financial, emotional, and spiritual weightiness. Our society has a great gift in being able to pursue these options, but also a great responsibility when it comes to making such decisions. If you or someone you know is in the process of deciding, pray for wisdom and direction from the Lord. In all things, He knows best.
There is Hope
No, there isn’t a guarantee, but there is hope. Hope beyond our circumstances that God ultimately is in control and knows what is best for His children. Whether He brings a child in your life or not, He loves you, cares for you, and has a plan for you. You are treasured and adored as a daughter of the King. Cling to Him and trust Him because He is GOOD.
There are so many more things I have not begun to touch upon in connection to infertility. Curious to find out more information for yourself? Here are a couple of Christian based websites I found that you may be interested in checking out:
I would also like to extend an invitation. It seems infertility is lonely for many, so I’d like to help set up some connections. If you are interested in meeting local women who have experienced infertility, clear your calendar for Friday, May 13th of 2016 at 6:30pm. Contact me privately if you have my information, or leave a comment below and I will respond with the exact location. When you comment, I am the only person who is able to see your email address! I hope you will find a community of support and encouragement as we honor one another.